{June 4, 2011}   To say “argue” or to say “fight”, THAT is the question!

A situation last night led me to question the use of certain words people use. It seems as if some people only know the meaning of some words through context. But if they have only been hearing them used in an incorrect manner then is it a fault or an oversight that they never took the time to really learn what the word actually means?

I do this more often than I wish. I use a good word then actually question myself as to its’ precise definition to ensure I am using it correctly. So last night , I will call him person A , had an issue with dogs being in their freshly laid sod. One person there,we will call him person B, that had more experience with grass, mentioned that it shouldn’t kill the grass since the dogs aren’t laying in the same spot for days and that even if they crush it or kill it for the moment it will return. Person C witnesses person A getting VERY upset at the dogs and chasing them off the grass. In hopes of calming person A down C simply says how the grass will grow back and also, since he cannot be on watch 24/7 to ensure the dogs are not on the grass it is futile. Person A is getting very upset now and insists that the grass will die because of his proof. He is saying all of this in a very angry tone . The proof he shows is the dead spot where no grass has ever survived right by the yard gate. Person C calmly informs A that the grass dies there because the dogs are constantly by the gate to bark at people. The dogs are not constantly on one spot of new sod in order to do that much damage. If they were the entire yard would be dead by now. Person A is raising his voice and saying that C is just trying to argue.

This is when I started to wonder … if person C was just informing A of their opinion or point of view in a calm manner is this arguing??

I felt it was less of an argument on C’s side since A was the one getting visibly upset and raising their voice.

Which led me to the following definition look-ups:




an oral disagreement; verbal opposition; contention; altercation: a violent argument.

a discussion involving differing points of view; debate: They were deeply involved in an argument about inflation.

a process of reasoning; series of reasons: I couldn’t follow his argument.

an act or instance of discussing; consideration or examination by argument, comment, etc., especially to explore solutions; informal debate.


informal interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spoken words; oral communication between persons; talk; colloquy.

an instance of this.

association or social intercourse; intimate acquaintance.


a battle or combat.

any contest or struggle: a fight for recovery from an illness.

an angry argument or disagreement: Whenever we discuss politics, we end up in a fight.
OKay. That was enlightening. Apparently I argue more often than I claim to. 😀
But now it brings up another question.  Can one person be arguing or discussing and the other person be fighting?
 I’ve heard the saying “It takes two people to argue”. Based on these definition I now have a more clear understanding of this phrase. Does it take two people to fight?? If one party of the “argument” gets an angry volume and tone while the other remains calm how would that be classified?
I don’t have the answer to that. I have ,however, learned how to use my word choices more wisely. 😀

P.S- I’ve moved my site-   Feel free to subcribe to me there. 😀


Totie says:

Absolutely, one person can be arguing or see a discussion as argument while the other party sees simple debate and interchange. It’s all your point of departure. It reminds me of the 2nd of Don Miguel Ruiz’ The Four Agreements: “Take Nothing Personally”. I struggled with that one most of my life ’til I found my “release” button 😉

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